Dude, bro.

lentilswitheverything:

willietheshakes:

wickedpissahnerd:

willietheshakes:

Dogs on TV always look so stiff. Like they’re supposed to be just sitting there but you can tell that the dog is like “!!!! Am good boy!!! Am hold position!!! Am look off stage at handler!!! Hi handler!!! Ready your finest treats for the good boy!!!”

My favorite are dogs who are supposed to be fierce but are so clearly playing at it. Just dubbing in growls can’t change that butt-wiggle of “I’m doing THE THING and soon I’ll get PRAISE and play with MY TOY”

Yes. This too.

In the Lion the Witch and the Wardobe movie (the one with Tilda Swinton, not the BBC one) the wolves all have CGI tails. Because they’re actually Malamute or Huskie crosses and wouldn’t stop wagging their goddamn tails all the time because they were so excited to be playing with all these nice people on this nice set with their nice handlers just out of shot holding lots of nice sausage.

(via ramikadyc)

fangirlsjustwannahavefun:

I had a date tonight with a girl I’ve been seeing and we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned wanting one of a bumblebee behind my ear and she stared at me for a second and then pulled back her hair and showed me a tattoo of a bumblebee behind her ear and lemme tell you if I didn’t believe in soulmates before I sure as hell do now that’s some next level shit

(via aplatonicjacuzzi)

alexaloraetheris:

Reasons I believe my friend is secretly some kind of deity

1) First time we spoke was a week after the beggining of freshman year she summed up my entire character and most of the events of my life Sherlock style. I asked her how the hell she knew all that. She just shrugged and said she figured out our entire class already.

2) The one time we had religion class instead of ethics she listened to the teacher for a few minutes, laughed and told me:

“Humans have wished to be gods so much they’ve forgotten they have to ability to create them. Imagination has truly suffered from this ‘monotheism’ stuff.”

I was confused and asked her if she was an atheist. She rolled her eyes and said:

“Oh I believe in god alright. I just don’t think the bastard deserves to be worshipped.”

3) Out of nowhere she gave me this advice:

“The only truth a liar ever told was that lies weren’t going to save you. Don’t become the liar who has to pass that wisdom on, because they speak from experience.”

4) To this day, she has one of those old-timey phones with buttons she only uses to ocassionally call someone. When I asked her why she never got a smartphone she got pouty:

“I hate social media. On Facebook they talk a lot but never say anything. If I wanted to listen to people moan about their problems and ask for help they don’t expect I’d listen to their prayers.” (Notice the choice of words)

5) I noticed she was stiff and I offered her a massage since I’m really good at it but when i started kneading her back I swear to this day those were not muscles I felt. I asked her what she did to turn her muscles into rocks covered with a thin layer of skin and she kinda froze then shrugged and said she was just really, really stiff. My hands hurt after ten minutes when I can usually go for an hour. Next time I offered she seemed surprised and laughed. She still has rocks for muscles.

6) We were having a debate over the way neural pathways are formed (I study biology and she forensics) and I jokingly asked if I could have her brain for study when she dies. She laughed.

“Sure, if you find a way to kill me you can have it. I’m actually curious what you’re gonna find.”

7) One time she was tired and miserable and I tried to comfort her. We both have really dark sense of humor so I told her she could scare the dead out of their graves with that glare. She told me the dead can’t come back and I rolled my eyes and said ‘obviously’ but she continued:

“When you die you descend to the underworld with nothing to lose. To keep you, they give you something to lose. When you want to return, they will demand it back. That’s why nobody ever leaves. The only way out is to never enter.”

8) One day she just came up to me with a disappointed look on her face. When I asked her what was wrong she was quiet for a few seconds and then just told me:

“Betrayals committed in good intentions are still damning. Just… keep that in mind.” Then she left and didn’t speak to me for three days. I still don’t know what she meant but even three years later I haven’t forgotten it.

9) We were casually sitting on a bench when, out of nowhere, she asked me: “Is it just me or have humans gotten dumber? Or have they always been this stupid and I just haven’t been paying attention?”

10) She asked me if I ever wondered what it was like to die. I said no but told her I would tell her when I found out. I meant it as a ghost joke but she smiled at me and said:

“Great. I’ll wait for you to come back. Maybe you’ll even remember me.”

In conclusion, she is some kind of low-key god and she lost her faith in humanity even before we lost our faith in her but she’s stuck with us because immortality is a bitch.

P.S. I just remembered her name is a variation on ‘Eve’. Maybe I should reconsider my atheist status?!

(via aplatonicjacuzzi)

prokopetz:

snugglebunchesofeyes:

naamahdarling:

inmysewingbox:

madamehardy:

laughlikesomethingbroken:

rizascupcakes:

Gather ‘round kids: I had a coworker mention to me this morning that it’s impossible to get grease stains out of fabric. As a former chemistry minor who worked two years under the table doing housekeeping and who generally tends to be a fucking disaster, I am here to tell everyone that it absolutely is not impossible, in case this is a widespread belief. Here are a few of my favorite cleaning stain removers that I always have at home.

Here are some options:

• A Tide™ pen.
  
• I’m a generic kinda lady. I hate promoting brands 99% of the time. BUT if you catch absolutely any kind of stain before it gets ground in, you can get most of it out with one of these babies. I’ve tested it on blood, chocolate, coffee, guacamole, pizza sauce, red wine on, on that one time i accidentally slopped some oil I was supposed to be using on antiques onto a fancy rug (also an antique but not the one I was gunning for). If you’re washing something delicate, pump it onto your finger a couple of times and gently rub it in. I’m not sure what they put in these things but I’m pretty sure it’s an arcane secret.
  
• Dish soap
• Granted, this is a little trickier for upholstery/carpet, but it can still be done using a rag, some water, and some patience. But for clothing, just pour some soap on the stain and rub it in under cold running water.
  
• Absolutely any clear alcohol is your new best friend
  
• You know the old “white wine to clean red” trick? Well, this is its updated sister I like to call “you, too, can use coconut rum to get red jello shot out of your nice white dress”. It’s a nice party trick. Straight vodka works even better. For every day situations involving any kind of alcohol-related spills (including markers)–and especially work situations–rubbing alcohol is ideal. To quote another adage, this one from every chemistry teacher you will ever meet, “like dissolves like.”
  
• Hydrogen Peroxide
  
• It can get blood out of absolutely anything, including your mattress. It reacts with the iron in hemoglobin, which breaks down the molecule, causing it to lose its red color. So make sure you’re not using a cast iron skillet to wash your period underwear in.
  
• Vinegar
• This will dissolve lime buildup overnight. Fill a bag, tie it around your showerhead, and presto. You can also use it to scrub the area around your sink and to break up any buildup in pipes. (Limeaway™ is for rich people.) 
• Baking soda
• This is great if you have a pet or child who peed on the carpet. Just cover the area, wait until it dries, and vacuum it up. The longer you leave it, the better it will do at removing the smell. It’s also good removing mild odors from a small space, like a fridge or a laundry hamper. 
  
• Charcoal
• This is your heavy duty odor killer. A little goes a long way. In chemistry, activated charcoal is used as a purifier in reactions, and in medicine, it can be used to treat mild poisoning/overdoses. In your car that smells like someone died because you forgot you had potatoes in the trunk for six months? All you need are regular old charcoal briquettes. Stick a couple handfuls in a flat box and the smell will be gone overnight. Guaranteed. For larger areas, just use more charcoal.
  

Baking soda is also good for stuff stuck on pots pans and your stove top. Add a little bit of water and elbow grease and it’s like magic

@howtogrowthefuckup

Baby shampoo will get oil stains out of clothing even if it’s been washed and dried several times.  Shampoo is formulated to remove oil from organic stuff.

Fabric cleaning tips. good to know for sewers.

How about worn-in fast food grease? Does anyone have any tips for getting it out?

Soak in lemon juice and Dawn.

A thick paste of borax and water - about a 1:1 ratio - is great at loosening stains from light-coloured carpets, even if the stain has been allowed to set for several days first. I’ve found it to be especially effective against vomit stains, which is handy if you have pets who like to puke in out-of-the-way places that aren’t likely to be spotted right away.

(Some sources will say to use borax and vinegar instead of borax and water, but I haven’t found the vinegar to be necessary, and the acid can cause colour changes in some types of carpet; be sure to test first if you go that route.)

(via accidental-diversion)

sweetycheeks:

this made me so happy

reblog to make someone smile

credits to @shreyadoodles

(via president-gay)